Graceless
by iquoo
Summary: Passivity was his calculated game, in which his comrade crushed mercilessly. How can one person make him feel so beautifully graceless?
1. Prologue

Possibly a chaptered story. Enjoy.

* * *

A sappy reunion between old friends was hardly what Uzumaki wanted- 

Then why did his breath and biting words leave him so sharply when he saw the waxen memory before him?

The first thing he noticed about his late teammate, had been the piceous mane that many females yearned to touch during their school years. It had been cut close to his skull, his face not hidden behind intruding bangs. Instead, his bangs were trimming across his forehead. And he thought that Uchiha had never looked better.

His glossy, aphotic eyes were still bedroom eyes without fail, and perhaps that was the reason why he used to be so longed for by his classmates. But Uzumaki wasn't a fool. He knew he was wan, and forever he would be, even if he was successful in the pursuit of happiness.

Whatever it was for him.

Uzumaki tried to open his mouth, the pink aperture, but it seemed that his voice was going to fail him. The voice he used to prove he was a strong man couldn't risk to become very soft in front of Uchiha, even if it was broken in thought and process. Instead, his polished, languished gaze, ultramarine, darted back and forth in the surprise of an awkward meeting beneath a curtain of careless sandy blades.

It seemed against either of them to walk up, envelop one another in an embrace. And so the action was pushed aside in thought. Uzumaki cleared his throat. He wanted to begin speaking, but the words weren't exactly the ones he had wanted to say initially.

He meant to say 'I despise you for leaving in the first place,'. What came out was-

"Welcome back."

Uchiha nodded, looking away for a moment, and finally took in the fact that Uzumaki still cared. And how had he re-payed such feelings? By nodding. It seemed to be decided between them both that for now, that subject wouldn't be touched. But with every word, he remembered him. Them. He felt nauseous, and swallowed thickly.

"Good to be back." and for now, Uchiha stepped aside, deciding to re-gather his thoughts, and that acting foolish before Uzumaki Naruto was worse than death.


	2. Prolonged Prologue

The final section of the prologue is complete. Enjoy.

* * *

"Oyasumi nasai¹, Sasuke-kun." 

He nodded in reply. "Dewa sonouchi ni.²"

Uchiha watched Haruno turn in balletic step, retreating from his front door and making her way, he supposed, home. Closing the door behind him, his nose was the first to take notice of the dust... or lack thereof? Things looked exactly the same as he had left them. Perhaps in even better condition than it had been.

He laid his shoes into a little cubicle in the corner carefully, still contemplating on whether he had forgotten his old address during his days of a criminal. The floors looked positively pristine. He wanted to reach out, touch it, and prove his assumption. The rugs were rich, as the furniture. He proved it by sitting onto a particuarly plush armchair, and felt the new cushions fit against his body. Uchiha knew he would have to admit it.

He was puzzled.

His house had never looked well; It was filled with beautiful furniture, but it was never lived in, simply organized. He never found the interest to use the residence. The kitchen, especially, was unused, and food hadn't been bought even while he still lived there. But as he stood and made his way to it, he opened the cabinets to see fresh produce filled to the brim. Deciding to leave the thought aside, the thought of soup seemed pleasant.

And he drowned his thoughts into chicken soup, entangling them with soba noodles. A photograph in his lap.

He remembered the day he had laid the frame face-down, when he had wanted to forget, to betray. The nauseous feeling, that damned nauseous feeling returned, engulfing his throat with such a horrible flavour, that the delicious soup was unable to mask it.

Deciding it an after-taste, he set the bowl aside and convinced himself that perhaps the soup had made him sick to the stomach. That was all. He had been careless and hadn't realized the ingredients were spoiled.

But... perhaps it wasn't the ingredients. Perhaps it had been his word.

It was a thought for another day. He hadn't slept carelessly for a while, and the thought of it brought him chills, as if just a night, a full night's sleep would let him forget his crimes, and perhaps even bring him back to a time in which his mother would wake him, and he would say his formal good mornings to his father. When that was all he needed to worry about.

_Unlike Uchiha's residence, Uzumaki's residence was a whirlwind._

A make-shift mattress with bundled sheets atop in the corner of the room. Clothes separated in piles, clean was folded, soiled a mountain. And with this, Uzumaki rolled over onto another side, facing the wall in contempt. It was uncomfortable, knowing that Uchiha had returned. It caused his skin to crawl, but he wasn't sure in which way.

He scratched at his forearms idly, wondering that perhaps mites had dug into his flesh, or maybe he was unconsciously indulging on chemicals. He took a moment to examine the dark, violaceous knuckles, and pressed his mouth against a stinging bump. He used the excuse to drown out a particular, frustrated yell, and then shut his eyes.

"Mou oshimai da.³"

And he wondered whether Uchiha had liked what he and Sakura-chan had done to the place.

* * *

¹/ Goodnight. 

²/ See you around.

³/ It's hopeless; I'm done for.


	3. Pleuvoir

The first actual chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

_"What are you?"  
"Your friend."_

After a couple of weeks, things had appeared to be normal again.

Uzumaki loved to have Sakura-chan around. He had to admit, a few years ago, much more than only a few words she'd said he has taken to heart. At times, he even wondered whether she appreciated having him as company at all. It was alright; Sakura-chan had her own way of presenting their friendship, and he understood. He understood completely.

These past few weeks, however, had been so much different for him. Perhaps it was because Uchiha had returned.

He's never had such a case of nausea-at-morn until he'd been seeing Uchiha. Uzumaki still believed that he wasn't there, he wasn't solid. Perhaps he was a doppelganger; Perhaps he was dead as his own breath when he slept. He'd wave good mornings to Sakura-chan, and though she would reply with her saccharine smiles, Uchiha- that damned survivor- would saunter from around the corner. Always. And although he would say good morning in just the same way he had done to Sakura-chan, there was a tone hid behind the casualty, the tone that would always hiss 'I contemn you still.'

Did Uzumaki despise him?

Maybe he just felt betrayed. And he decided to end his thoughts right there, because he knew this shouldn't be the case, shouldn't be the reason. No, there has to be something about it, about his voice, that made him squeamish.

"It's freezing," He began, finding that the three teenagers were too quiet. It had always been quiet, actually. But the thought of words eased his stomach slightly. He wondered why the three of them were still walking beside one another, as if they were one group. Had the three really reunited for good?

Haruno stretched slightly, shuddering in reply. Uzumaki watched her back arch and her arms tremble. "I agree." She placed her palms against her lower back, arching even more.

"Un."

Uchiha's reply had been a particularly quiet one, as always, but somehow that had been the reply that caused Uzumaki's stomach to churn even more than it had before. Why was his reply always the uneasing?

_The three ate together- even if things weren't the same as before._

It wasn't exactly Uchiha's habit, to eat so much. But somehow, the tangled ramen noodles dangling on his chopsticks, bathed with dark miso broth, filled a specific void he had been feeling the past few days. A small quirk of his lip, and perhaps he's been switching personalities with Uzumaki. The blond teenager, he could see from behind Haruno, hadn't even touched his own bowl, although he had remembered that by this time, he should be ready for his second bowl.

"Daijobu desu ka,¹" Uchiha raised an eyebrow idly. "Last time I checked, you had a rather extensive appetite."

Haruno chuckled slightly. "It's true, Naruto-kun. Is something wrong?"

Uzumaki didn't reply to either of their statements, for Uchiha's voice, for the umpteenth time of the day, made him positively sick to the stomach. It made him wonder whether Uchiha had bathed his vocal chords with a chemical poison. Breaking off his chopsticks, he simply shook his head for a moment, gazed down at his mauve-tinted knuckles and muttered.

"Itadakimasu.²"

"_Look, Sasuke-kun. It's raining."  
"Un."  
"Here, I've an umbrella. Why don't I walk you and Naruto-kun home?"_

Haruno was between them. She was linking each of their arms, hands clutched to the umbrella.

Uchiha realized that Haruno was the link between him and Uzumaki. That if she wasn't there, they wouldn't have even looked at one another. And something about that, that realization. It bothered him a little. He wasn't sure whether Uzumaki was ready to accept him, and the feeling of becoming the third wheel was odd. But wasn't that how Uzumaki had felt in the first place, when they were young and stupid? Haruno used to treat Uzumaki as a patrician would a meager dinner.

She wasn't treating him this way now, was she?

Time was medicine. It healed wounds, as well as faults. Perhaps, Uzumaki needed a medicine of greater potency.

Uchiha noticed that the first stop had been his residence. Rather convenient, since their heights were so different than it used to be. Both he and Uzumaki needed to lean down to fit their heads within the brim of the umbrella.

His goodbye had been a nod, in which Haruno had replied by doing the same. And when the umbrella-shielded pair had begun to walk away, Uzumaki's head turned, hesitantly, as if to say something.

'We should... talk.'

Did they both mouth the same words in sync?

* * *

¹/ Are you alright? 

²/ Along the lines of- "Thanks for the meal, I am going to eat now."


	4. Souci

Question; this chapter healed, or damaged their relationship? Enjoy.

* * *

Why? Why was he trembling? 

Uchiha was trembling, cigarette poised in hand, between lips, but he wasn't taking a breath. Why had Uzumaki's presence affected him so deceitfully, and most of all, why had Uchiha accepted this with a shut mouth? Shutting his eyes, he took a shuddering breath finally, and the nicotine proved a purpose. Nulled his senses for a moment, but made him positively sicker.

But those eyes, those doe eyes, they were still intense. And Uchiha was glad. Because if Uzumaki kept his stare onto his eyes, he would still believe that it didn't make such a difference. He would still believe himself more mature, calmer, confident.

Uzumaki was afraid, he could tell. Those lips were pressed together tightly. The plush cheeks were bathed cerise, and there it was, the embarrassment. With Uzumaki, it was always more obvious. But he seemed focused on Uchiha's lips, wondering if perhaps he was going to start speaking, or should he.

Why were men too proud, too afraid, to communicate?

"How has it been since I've been gone?"

Quite the unexpected question, but Uzumaki would've wanted a personal question rather than a casual one. His guard was down for the moment, uneeded. How _has_ it been since Uchiha was gone? He hadn't exactly realized it. He shook his head for a moment, but realized it wasn't a good answer.

He tried again.

"Uchiha-san, get to the point."

"I will, then." Uchiha sighed slightly. "Naruto-"

"Uzumaki."

Uchiha nodded, understanding. It didn't faze him, nor did hearing his last name before, for if Naruto had made the same mistake, he would've corrected him with the same curt air as Uzumaki had done. They weren't friends like they had been. They didn't know one another. Therefore, they had no right to call one another by familiar names.

"Uzumaki-san, are you bothered by the fact that I'm around?"

Yes, had been the initial answer. Instead, Uzumaki pressed his lips together, shaking his head as if Uchiha had said the silliest thing.

"Of course not, Sasuke! I-"

"Uchiha."

That was him, being a fool. Uzumaki felt positively humiliated at Uchiha's correction, but he was right. He ran his tongue across his lips and continued at a slower pace. He needed to make sure that he wasn't going to make a fool of himself.

"Of course not, Uchiha-san. I just think it's a little..."

Awkward? Unnerving? Odd?...

"Funny."

Uzumaki didn't like to lie. It was against his code of honour, secret code of honour. There wasn't a point to lying, and he felt as though his lips were tainted as he said it. Of course it bothered him. Uchiha was there once more, and this time, he knew that he wasn't bothered in the same way that he had been long ago. The fact that he had been so sure of how he felt before, and now... it bothered even more.

How could Uchiha make him so unsure of himself, so quickly?

"Do you think we're still friends?"

The question caught Uzumaki, a piercing kunai to his throat. "Well... we were friends, good friends, Uchiha-san. But... we don't know anything about one another anymore. I suppose it's the way life's supposed to be, 'tte bayo.¹" He mumbled, embarrassed. That's when he realized that his childhood quirk, his little habit, Uchiha had brought it back. Damn him.

Uchiha had taken a long drag out of his cigarette, and thought about Uzumaki's answer. It was a good answer, a better one than he had expected. But not the one he really wanted. He simply stood, blew out a ring of smoke, and stepped down on his cigarette. "I see."

And Uchiha walked away, leaving Uzumaki with the feeling that he had perhaps answered wrongly. Now he knew. Uchiha cared. Remembered.

He lowered his head, and the nicotine-filled smoke wafted carefully into the air. He was anxious. Anticipating.

* * *

¹/ He actually said 'datte bayo', but it came out broken for his mumbling. 


	5. Lèvres

Takes a surprising forward turn, but it's nowhere near over. Take a guess on whether it's damaging. Enjoy.

* * *

"_Haruno-sama,¹ would you do me a favour?"  
"Anything, Sasuke-kun." _

Uchiha swallowed his breath thickly, not knowing exactly how to begin. 

"_Tell Uzumaki-san that... in the Uchiha residence, the trees are shivering due to their old age. They'll soon fall if given a push." Pressing his lips together, he didn't know why he was speaking in metaphors. "Ask Uzumaki-san that, if he doesn't mind, would he come over to help me replant the trees.²"_

_It took a moment for Haruno to understand; This statement had nothing to do with trees._

"_You want to be friends with Naruto-kun again, don't you?"_

Perhaps he was just this predictable. After all, Haruno had read him quite well.

When he saw Uzumaki in front of him, he had been all but surprised. He hadn't quite expected to see the other in front of him, especially after their previous meeting. Uchiha couldn't help but to smile slightly in amusement: Uzumaki was wearing his oldest clothing, sleeves rolled up to shoulders.

Uzumaki had actually taken his statement in a literal sense.

"We're not replanting the trees." He mentioned to him, feeling a bit sorry for mentioning hard labor when speaking of mending friendships.

Uzumaki cocked his head to the side for a moment, puzzled. Uchiha was a strange man; What sort of man goes around asking others to aid them in chores, then decides suddenly not to do them. Slowly, the confusion morphed into rage. "What the hell, Uchiha! I wake up just for you, and now you come telling me that we're not doing anything? You're insane."

Uchiha hadn't exactly heard the words that followed 'just for you'. The words made his stomach tighten.

'Not now...' It was too soon.

"We're replanting the flowers instead."

_Was it the heat, or was it the presence?  
__Swallowing with difficulty, he pressed his hands against the dirt,..._

Closed his fists and thought.

As he tended the daisies, he felt like he wanted to cry. To just tear up and cry, roll on the ground, drown out screams. Throw a tantrum, the way a child would.

And men should never be near flowers.

Attempting to clean his face of tears with his dirty forearm, Uzumaki laid his head onto the ground, the dirt cooling his cheeks considerably. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Uchiha wash his hands on an outside sink.³ Oh, he was having a drink now. A drink sounded good to Uzumaki as well.

Sauntering over to the other, he felt anxious watching Uchiha's lips, somehow. And even more anxious as he realized Uchiha was watching him carefully from the side. Uchiha's stomach tightened for the second time of the day. Did he have something on his face?

Men should never be near flowers.

For Uzumaki carefully leant over with eyes shut, tongue sliding between his lips, touching Uchiha's with curiosity.

Both never knew how sweet water could taste from another man's tongue.

'No... no.'

* * *

¹/ Sasuke respects Sakura intensely, a great difference to how he used to think of her.

²/ Tree is being used as the metaphor for their relationship.

³/ They exist in some gardens, by the way.


	6. Temps

A short one I had forgotten to upload. Filler to set for the second section of the story, possibly the awaited one. Enjoy.

* * *

'No... no... no...'

"_Uzumaki-san, wake up."  
"Nn?"  
_"_You smashed your head against the sink. Wake up."_

Uzumaki had never felt so embarrassed in his life, and he knew so because he rarely got embarrassed.

He just watched Uchiha's torso move in front of him and felt his hands wrap his head wound. No wonder. The back of his skull was throbbing heavily. He tried to reach his fingertips to the still-exposed oozing blood, but Uchiha slapped his hand away harshly. Uzumaki scowled, and he decided that Uchiha was just not a gentle man, even while tending to one's wounds.

He didn't like to stand so close to Uchiha, to watch his chest heave in soft breaths. Not since-

Just... not since.

"You were unconscious for a while. I called Haruno-sama to see whether anything was wrong."

Unconsious. Uzumaki raised his bright eyes to his comrade, parting his lips hesitantly. Why was he acting as if nothing had happened? Was Uchiha that cold and ruthless that he wouldn't even be puzzled at the previous event?

"What... Uchiha-san, what happened?"

Uchiha paused for a moment, gazing at the dirt-stained blond hair in front of him. And he smiled slightly. Had Uzumaki smashed his head that heavily?

"We were tending to the flowers, and I went to get a drink. You came over to me, and next thing I knew, you leaned over and smashed your head against the sink."

It hadn't happened. It hadn't happened.

Had Uzumaki dreamt that sequence? Had he... wished it? It hurt too much to think. And Uchiha let that smile slide lazily on his lips. His long fingertips were molded against the bandaged wound. Was he smoothing it down?

"Don't worry about it."

_It was so different to have Sakura-chan sleeping upon his back.  
Her breath at his ear was calming, but very unnerving._

Sakura-chan.

Her arms were so small, so delicate. They had unbelievable strength. Her knuckles were coarse, perhaps from slamming her fists into the ground so many times. So many earthquakes she had caused with those nimble fingers.

Who knew she'd cause another one with her presence?

It still hurt too much to think. Uzumaki groaned softly, taking his head in his hands. What was he doing here, laying beside Sakura-chan? When had been the last time he wished this would happen. It was too late. He knew so. Shutting his eyes, he leant back and tried to mold against her lithe body. It worked, a little. It eased his stomach. Oh, it was her hand. Her hand was rubbing his stomach.

"I know this won't last long. I think of you as a brother."

Uzumaki was surprised to hear such words from her. "Then why, Sakura-chan? Why are you still beside me?"

Sakura-chan smiled slightly. He was young, too young for his age. He should've known. "Because you're confused, Naruto-kun. You need time. I'm willing to give you such time." And she knew he wouldn't understand.

But Uzumaki understood. He understood, but didn't.

"You're right, Sakura-chan. I need to think."


End file.
